Paleo Bars Review

Julian’s Paleo Bar Review

[Please stay with me, this will be long but well worth the read. Over the course of the last few days I have been slowly eating, texture testing and giving my honest review of the new Paleo Bars I found.]

I saw these little bars advertised by a company I have trusted in the past. I already use Julian’s paleo wraps and the paleo mayo, so when I saw these bars and the ingredients I thought wow, these look very good and fit all my qualifications I look for in a bar. I like high protein, no fake sugar or high sugar and using stevia and sea salt was a big plus. I also love sunflower seeds and the absence of added vitamins and minerals which I cannot tolerate totally sold it. I was so excited, and ordered myself a variety box.
Strike 1
They are very slow in processing. Not just the bars but all their items so expect it to take several weeks from ordering to receiving. They send you and email approximately 1-2 weeks after you order and let you know your order will be processed and shipped. (Look close at those dates. On both my orders I received an email which said your order will be baked and shipped on this date, which was a week in the future.) That was confusing but after I read this part over and over I finally got it. My mistake but who sends and email for a week in advance?
Strike 2
On my second order which was the bars, I paid attention to the date it was to be shipped. But after several days past that date and still no shipping info I contacted the company. Seems they had an equipment malfunction and instead of letting people know they just let people sit and wait and wait and wait for their product. Not only do they take two weeks to process, send you an email for a week in advance and then take several more days to ship, they can’t even be courteous enough to let us know that we will have to wait even longer. Like we have no other choices out there for food and they are the only ones so can take advantage of us like this.
My opinion: they really need to get their stuff together from processing to shipping and the customer communication in-between!
Strike 3
The bars; when I finally got the bars they were extremely mauled and looked like they had gone clear across the world badly handled. Most of them were odd-shaped and just lumps of bar inside a little package. Luckily they were flexible and the shape didn’t have much bearing on the actual flavor.

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Strike 4 (how many strikes can I give?)
I bought this variety pack for the sole purpose of trying all the flavors and the one flavor I wanted to try most was not even in my box; Vanilla Pudding was what I was after and was most excited about as I love pudding. (Banana pudding would have been better but I was hopeful on the vanilla) Any way I got two almond fudge flavors instead. So No vanilla pudding and to be honest that was a total bummer and just poor customer service.   SAD!!

 

Conclusion
I found some good points about the bars but mostly bad points. I am going out on a limb and maybe giving them the benefit of the doubt and hoping the “machine malfunction” they had really affected my personal bars but I am not sure how much that actually played a part in the taste & texture.

 

The good points:
1. The claim is that these bars will keep you full for 4 hours. I tried this out by replacing my lunch with a bar and by golly I didn’t get hungry for 4 hours. I tried on another day replacing my breakfast with a bar and I was quite satisfied. The claim that these bars keep you satisfied is true. This is a real big plus since I eat bars on the go and need them to get me to the next meal.
2. The ingredients are simple and healthy.
3. They are not overly sweet like some other bars that leave you wanting to guzzle a pot of coffee just to get the sweetness out of your mouth.

 

The bad points and general info on each bar:
(Because I believe in giving an honest review I tried all the flavors even though I wanted to quit after the first two. I know this is long but stick with me as I feel it’s important to give the full details)
1. The first flavor I tried was glazed donut. I tried everything to get the flavor to pop (closed my eyes, used my imagination and even looked at the photo of the donut on the package) nothing helped. No glazed donut taste at all. In fact it was strictly a very stale sunflower seed taste. You know when you find that package of sunflower seeds in the camper from last year but you decided to eat some anyway and they are soft, instead of crunchy and just stale and awful? This is what the bar tasted like. I could not get past the taste. I only consumed ½ but I suppose a good point would be when I went back to it the next morning it was still just as soft as when I left it, so they don’t dry out.

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2. The texture is nothing like what the photos they post on Facebook lead you to believe they are. They are grainy and seedy, not smooth at all which is what I was looking for. Basically I felt like I was eating flavored stale sunflower seeds.  Here is their photos, compare them to mine

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3. After trying the caramel I found the flavor on this bar a little bit more appeasing. I could actually almost taste the caramel. Not real strong but it did hide the sunflower seed taste a little. I love sunflower seeds, don’t get me wrong. I eat sunflower seed butter, I eat sunflower seeds all the time but this stale sunflower seed taste was just too overwhelming to overlook.  Today I was being generous as I was enjoying coffee at Starbucks and took this bar to enjoy as my lunch.

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4. Remember how I said the claim is true that you will be satisfied for 4 hours? A lot of that is because these will stick in your teeth for 4 hours. The texture was just that of old old old bubble gum that no longer has elastic to it so when you go to chew it, it just kind of falls apart in your mouth and adheres to your teeth in a really gross manner. That’s what the texture reminded me of and I had to have several cups of coffee to wash it down and ended up having to go brush my teeth because I just couldn’t handle the texture in my mouth for that long.
5. *Cinnamon Roll bar. Although tasting nothing like a cinnamon roll it was a pleasant taste and I will say that it was a lot smoother than the other bars. (until I try all the flavors to see if there are any others that are smoother I can’t make a conclusion that perhaps the chunks of sunflower seeds were an equipment malfunction) The taste was if you would take a portion of sunflower seed butter and add a smidgen of cinnamon and stevia which I have done in the past for a nice snack with apples. So the taste was good, (could use more pronounced flavors) the texture was smoother but it still stuck in my teeth in an awful way. I found this one pleasant and annoying at the same time however the best out of all of them so far.

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6. I opened my Almond Fudge (which I got two of instead of getting my vanilla pudding) and was greeted with enough oil to fry a fish. Okay not literally but see the pictures. I dripped 5ml out of the wrapper and that was just a quick pour. I laid the bar on a paper towel to pour the oil out of the package and the grease from it soaked through the paper towel. *However the texture was great on this bar. Chewy, soft, no bits of sunflower seeds all over, just as I was hoping the other bars would all be. The bar didn’t stick to my teeth and was very pleasant to eat. You have to love bitter chocolate however which I don’t so much, I am more of a milk chocolate but the flavor exploded in my mouth with bittersweet chocolate. For me it was a little too much but by far the best if you combine the taste and texture elements. I could tolerate this on rare occasions.

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7. Chocolate Brownie, can best be described as one of those cardboard brownie from a company that is trying to get into the gluten free market but hasn’t quite mastered the technique of GF baking yet. It was dry, crumbly, chunks of sunflower seeds which again had that old stale taste that was trying to be masked by chocolate. Over all it wasn’t disgusting, but not something I would eat all the time either. Not much to this bar other than the chocolate and sunflower seed taste.

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8. I’M CONFUSED REALLY……………………..Why is one bar overly chewy like taffy, the next bar is dry and crumbling, most so far have just been old chewy stick to your teeth awful? They are basically have the same ingredients other than the additional flavoring. Shouldn’t these bars all be similar in texture?????? This confuses me as I am going through them.

9. Coconut Shred bar, Strangely this started out the same as the first bar I tasted which was an overwhelming taste of stale sunflowers seeds but then as I was frowning the coconut flavor overpowered it and I got an amazing coconut taste and little tiny flakes of coconut that I was able to chew on for quite some time in a good way. I like coconut but out of all the bars, I thought I would like this bar the least because it was just plain flavored, I found I enjoyed the flavor profile on this one very much and the little flakes of coconut. If you like coconut you will like this. Other than the underlying stale sunflower seed taste and texture this was good bar. Texture itself was not like my first few bars, it did not stick in your teeth forever however it was a softer texture and not chewy or sturdy for that manner. If you are eating on the go, keep it in your package otherwise it will just fall apart everywhere. This was badly mangled in shipping but upon opening it quickly went back to bar shape or any shape for that matter. Reminded me a little of soft play-dough.

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10. HEADACHES……………..I have paid attention with great detail after getting a headache after the first bar. I am not one that has issues with blood highs and lows unless I am actually eating a lot of sugar (don’t have any issues with any of the ingredients in these bars) so I was extremely interested in my headaches after consuming each bar. I made notes throughout my days as well to note any other headaches and they all seem to be connected to consuming the bars. It may be possible that I am sensitive to one of the ingredients now even though I have had no issues in the past but I wanted to make it known in case anyone else starts getting headaches with the paleo bars.

11. My last bar that I am trying is Cookies N’ Cream. By this point you should already know it tastes nothing like cookies and cream although there was a familiar taste to it that I just couldn’t put my finger on. This bar went right back to the first bars where the texture was just awful and was sticking everywhere in my teeth however the chunks were not as bad and the flavor was not awful although nothing like the title.

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My over all impression of the bars was a “D” and something I will not waste my money on. I can get bars from GNC that are just as good, cheaper  and more pleasant on taste and texture. I really hope that they make improvements with the bars and customer service so that the company goes far but as for me and my experience with these bars…………….I was not a satisfied customer, in fact I felt really mislead and let down. Not a good feeling after spending so much money.

 

I will finalize my post with this thought:   As much as I disliked what I tasted I am still interested in the vanilla pudding.   I like trying things to the fullest and giving everything a fair chance.   By testing these bars over many days I was able to have different perspectives on them, eating them in different settings and perhaps if one day I wasn’t feeling generous with my review I knew another day I would be but I strive hard to give everything an equal chance.

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